It’s handy that you can’t see yourself, I quite often forget I don’t have hair until a stranger gives me a second look or I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a car window. It started falling out gradually at first and I was able to clutch to the hope that I might be one of the lucky few who manages to keep hold of their hair. Sadly that wasn’t the case…
My oncologist had told me my hair would begin to fall out during the 3rd week of treatment and it did. I woke up one morning to find hair all over the pillow cases, worried that if I had a shower it would fall away completely. In the end I decided to take control of the situation by shaving it all off.
My partner was ready with the clippers, strangely eager to get started straight away but that was all a bit brutal for me. I felt woefully unprepared for baldness so I decided instead to get the girls over for a takeaway, a few wines and some moral support.
Wine, clippers and curry. That was my plan of attack and it made all the difference in the world. Having friends around made the entire experience much less depressing. I wasn’t alone in this.
It was well worth marking the occasion, I mean let’s face it losing your hair is actually a really big deal! Once my hair was gone I looked and felt like a token cancer patient, there was no more covering it up. Credit to my wonderful friends they didn’t try and sugar coat it or make a big fuss, they were just there and they were honest and helpful and incredible. The good thing about having the girls round was that they could talk about how to make this look and feel feminine. Not surprisingly my boyfriend doesn’t understand what it feels like to lose your femininity, how could he really.
Now my hair has almost all fallen out and I look like a fuzzy little Easter chick. Funnily enough I haven’t worn any of the headscarves that we bought because I feel like they make me look even more like a cancer patient than the bald head. Likewise my wig feels kind of ridiculous, it has much more volume than my real hair and I feel a little like a drag queen in it.
So, after all of this I’ve decided to continue rocking the bald head. Why should women have long hair anyway, because society says so? Maybe I’ll change my tune about that later down the line but for now bald is best.